


Our Velocity

by AppleTeeth



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, High School AU, M/M, Trigger warning: child abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-20
Updated: 2012-10-20
Packaged: 2017-11-16 17:00:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/541789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AppleTeeth/pseuds/AppleTeeth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Three ficlets inspired by prompts from the Tumblr blog thescienceboyfriends.</p><p>Prompt 5: High School AU with Teen!Vengers. Tony and Bruce are going on their first date. They each, separately, beg Natasha for advice. Natasha is less than pleased.</p><p>Prompt 7: Bruce forgot it was his birthday. Tony, however, didn’t. He decides full celebrations are in order, but failed to remember his last attempt at a birthday cake successfully burned down Pepper’s kitchen.</p><p>Prompt 11: Bruce always wishes he could have had kids. Now, knowing the other guy, he’s certain that he shouldn’t. Tony talks to him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Our Velocity

**Prompt 5**

 

“You’re going on a _what_?”

“I know Russia is not used to romantic courtship, but is this so hard for you to grasp?”

Natasha can barely keep her voice down as she turns towards her classmate sitting behind her. “A date. With Banner?”

“Uh huh. He asked me out during Chemistry and I said yes. You two hang out all the time at lunch. What does he like?”

“What does he like? He’s a teenage boy. I assume bad rock music and masturbating.”

“Well that’s not first-date activities. Maybe third,” Tony grins.

She rolls her eyes, turning back towards the front of the class in case the teacher is getting suspicious. A few minutes later, she turns back round.

“He likes sci-fi. Comic books and stuff.”

“Okay, cool. Like what?”

“I don’t know. He’s always wearing that Doctor Who scarf, isn’t he?”

“That’s from Doctor Who?” Tony muses. “Okay, so he’s a dork. I can dig that.”

“You might not want to call him that. And I thought you’d like someone as big a nerd as you.”

“I resent that!”

“Anyway, since when have you used anything but money to impress someone?”

“Well, the word is he’s poor and his dad’s in jail or something. So I figured if I do my usual wine-and-dine he’ll feel awkward.”

She’s amazed. He’s being serious about this date, and for once taking into consideration the other person’s feelings. It’s enough for her to consider giving him some sound advice. She sighs loudly and turns to him again.

“Don’t bring up his parents. Ever. Not even as a joke. Everything else is fair game and he can laugh it off, or at least so I’ve found. Just take him somewhere nice where you guys can talk. Preferably with knowledge attached. The museum or something.”

“Thank you, Nat, you’re a lifesaver.”

“Mister Stark, Miss Romanov, if you don’t mind…” the teacher says loudly and their attention is back on their lesson.

——

“Tasha!”

Natasha turns as she walks into the cafeteria. Bruce is running towards her, his backpack falling off of his shoulder, his too-long hair flopping against his forehead, his huge glasses falling down his nose. Okay, maybe he’s a little dorkish.

“Tasha, I did the stupidest thing today.”

“Oh, really?” she asked innocently as they get in line.

“I asked Tony Stark out. You know, the rich kid in my Chemistry class? He was teasing me and kept saying I was cute and I kinda… called his bluff. And he said yes!”

“Congratulations. Unless… you’re not gay?” she asks, and it’s clearly a joke because she knows everything there is to know about him. She’s very good at finding out secrets, even when the person isn’t that willing to share.

“Ha ha, yeah you wish,” he mocks her. “But what do I do? I’m dirt-poor. My cleaning job barely pays my lunch money. He’s got enough money to fly a jet to school if he wants. I hear he has robot butlers for fuck’s sake.”

“Well that means he’ll take you somewhere swanky. Eat as much as humanly possible, fill your pockets with the silverware and ask for double dessert.”

He ignores her and continues. “I don’t know if we even have anything in common…”

“Come on, you two are the smartest in the year. Probably the school. You can talk about science and stuff.”

“What if this is just to make fun of me later?”

She rolls her eyes. Bruce can be depressingly self-deprecating sometimes.

“It’s not. He likes you. Just be yourself, don’t talk constantly about your nerdy TV shows and don’t put out on the first date. You two will be very cute together.”

 

~ - ~

**Prompt 7**

Bruce returned back from S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters late in the afternoon, after a lengthy discussion with Reed and T’Challa about the ethics of using alien tech against a potential invasion. Same old.

What surprised him - for the first time of the entire day - was the greeting he received when he entered Avengers Tower.

“Welcome back, Dr Banner, and many happy returns on your birthday.”

“My…” he looked up at the ceiling in confusion. “It’s my birthday?”

“Ah, I believe so, sir,” JARVIS replied, sounding just a little flustered. “Mr Stark relayed the information to me this morning.”

“Oh.” And he carried on to the private elevator in stunned silence. Between hating his birthday as a kid and having lost all forms ID years ago, he had long since forgotten when exactly his birthday was. He suddenly had a bad feelings about what Tony had planned for him now he had that information in his possession.

And, “Huh,” was all he said when he reached the penthouse and saw the transformation that had taken place. Everywhere he looked there were balloons and streamers and various decorations, all in green and purple.

“Surprise!” Tony yelled from the kitchen area, eyes on his work as ever. Bruce kept on looking around.

“How did you know it was my birthday?”

“The question is, how did you forget?” Tony replied smoothly.

“What the hell are you doing?”

“Decorating your birthday cake, what does it look like?”

Bruce studied the half-frosted construction, the cakes burnt and sunken, stacked up unsteadily, the icing clumpy and uneven.

“Please don’t make me eat that,” he said finally.

“What?” Tony looked up. His face was covered in flour, globs of batter were in his beard and purple icing smeared across his shirt. “But I made it for you!”

“Tony, you know how I keep saying you don’t need to spend money on me and I find the non-monetary things in our relationship far more loving than anything you could ever buy me? I take it all back. If you must give me a cake, please buy one.”

He dropped his icing tools onto the counter-top immediately. “Oh thank fuck because as indestructible you are with the Hulk and everything, I’m pretty certain this might kill you.”

Bruce chuckled. He leaned in and kissed Tony’s floury lips, to which Tony grabbed his ass and shoved him against the counter to fully envelop him.

“Happy birthday, Doc,” Tony said softly.

“I assume I have to attend my own party?” he asked.

“The invitations already went out, but if you want to insist on spend the evening fucking me senseless instead…?”

It didn’t take much persuading.

 

~ - ~

**Prompt 11**  


  


It was after a battle that Tony noticed something within Bruce that he had never noticed before. The baddie had been defeated (giant worm-fish creature with spikes) and the Hulk had gone somewhere discrete to shrink back down into ‘puny-size’, as he called it. Tony followed after him after giving Bruce enough time to wake up and shake away the green cobwebs.

There he found Bruce holding the hand of a small child who was crying loudly.

“Aw, it’s okay, I’m sorry I scared you,” he said softly, kneeling down so he could be the girl’s height. “The other guy doesn’t hurt people, I promise.”

He stroked her hair and let her cry, because sometimes kids just needed to wail until they were tired. He hugged her and rocked her gently back and forth.

“I know, it’s not fun being alone, is it?” She shook her head. “Do you know where your mommy and daddy are?”

The little girl sniffed loudly and looked around. “I don’t know…”

“We’ll find them, don’t worry.” He scooped her up into his arms and she clung to his bare chest as he walked carefully out from the rubble. His grip was firm but soft around her and he continued to stroke her hair soothingly. “And hey, look! Iron Man is here to help.”

“Uh, sure. What’s your name, cupcake?” Tony asked, raising his face plate and smiling.

“Mandy.”

“Best name ever. Next to Tony. Did you see Bruce here changing? Wasn’t he awesome?”

The little girl lifted her head and looked up at the dirty man currently holding her. She grinned toothily and nodded.

“Did you know the Hulk can chase away monsters under your bed?”

“Really?” she looked up at Bruce.

“Sure!” Bruce said. “He can fight anything. Next time some scary monster is trying to hurt you or your parents, just think about Hulk chasing them away.”

They found Mandy’s parents nearby, looking out of sorts as they searched for her. Tony stepped back as Bruce handed the girl back to her mother, who thanked him a million times over. As they started to walk away, Bruce was continuing to stare at the little girl, waving at her happily.

Back at Avengers Tower, Bruce was stripping off what remained of his clothes and heading for the shower.

“Cute kid,” Tony said, trying to find an in without sounding like it was forced. He was leaning up against the door-jamb, for once not taking the opportunity to admire his boyfriend’s ass as he stepped into the large shower unit.

“Yeah,” Bruce said softly.

“Do you want any?”

Bruce turned to him, one hand on the shower nozzle. “Not any more.”

“You sure? You were pretty cute with her—”

“I can’t,” he said shortly. “Well, or rather, I won’t. It’s too dangerous. Poisoned blood and all.”

“We could adopt,” Tony suggested. Bruce turned on the shower without replying.

Ten minutes later, having hoped the subject had been dropped, Bruce walked into the bedroom, a towel wrapped around his waist.

“Or, if you like, we could get a segregate parent. Maybe find a way to separate the Hulk genes from the rest of your DNA. If you’re big on family resemblance.”

Bruce sat down on the edge of the bed, rubbing his hair and not looking anywhere close to where Tony was sitting.

“Personally, I don’t care if they look like me, just as long as they’re healthy and happy. Preferably not a superhero but I suppose it’s the new family business.”

Bruce sighed loudly. “Tony… I’m dangerous. You’re dangerous. You really want to put a kid through that?”

“We could settle down. Only save the world… twice a week. Alternate Saturdays.”

“I don’t want to discuss this,” Bruce said and stood up to go to the living room. Tony followed him.

“What are you so scared of? Honestly?”

“I don’t want to—” but Bruce stopped himself, holding up his hands, palms flat, as if in surrender. He tried a smile. “Can we drop this, please?”

“Don’t want to what? Hurt them? Not turn out to be a good dad? I think we could both do a million times better than our own.”

And then Tony realised Bruce looked pained. Honest-to-god hurt. His shoulders were slumped and he was taking slow, steady breaths - much like when he was trying to hold off the Hulk from appearing. Tony walked towards him and put his hands on his shoulders.

“I’m sorry. I forgot the ‘don’t mention the dad’ rule.”

“I don’t want to end up like him,” Bruce said quietly.

“You won’t. How could you ever? You’re a vegan, environmentalist, animal lover. You look after the worst-off in the world. You force me to recycle and save the pandas and invest in medicine for third-world countries. How on earth could you ever end up like him?”

“But there’s more to it,” Bruce said quietly. “Because of him… I can’t stand to see kids getting hurt.”

“I know.”

“So if I ever, _ever_ so much as raise my voice to our kid, I will run. And I will use every shred of tech to ensure you can’t find me. Because an absent father is so much… a _world_ better than what my father was.”

Tony took in a few breaths, giving himself time to mull over what Bruce had said. He directed him to the couch and Bruce put his head in his hands, hunched over. He never liked speaking about his father, much less his fears for how he would turn out if he tried to be one himself.

“Okay, firstly, if you ran, I would find you, because I’m not spending the rest of my life without you. Secondly, you want to know about absent dads, because I will fucking write you a dissertation on the subject and how much they ruin a family. And thirdly, so what if you raise your voice? That’s parenting. That doesn’t mean you’re going to beat your kid for not tidying his room.”

Bad example. Bruce made a small groan, waving his hand at Tony as if to say, ‘Don’t say any more.’

“And it certainly doesn’t mean you’re going to bring out the Other Guy. Because you put up with my shit every day and don’t so much as look at me with green eyes. A crying baby who won’t let you sleep for more than two hours a night? You’ll see that as a walk in the park.”

“But if I… if I do something that makes them hate me… you know I’ll pin it on myself?”

“From what I hear, that’s what all healthy parents do,” Tony shrugged. “Hey.”

He peeled Bruce’s hands away from his face and wrapped them around himself. He hugged Bruce with one hand stroking his still-wet hair just behind his ear - one of his best tricks to calm him.

“I love you and you would make a great dad. And we know every single trick to stop them from hating us, because between us, we’ve seen the worst of it. Honestly? I thought you wouldn’t want kids because I’d spoil them rotten and teach them to drive by the age of four.”

Bruce finally smiled. “Three was my guess. You’d have them racing on the track at seven.”

“You’ve got to admit, no kid of ours would ever get bullied at school. And imagine the Parent-Teacher conferences! Every teacher would be shit-scared of you Hulking out or me suing their asses.”

“Oh no, I’m always on the side of the teachers. I always hated the parents who would try to make out their little shit not knowing how to spell is somehow the teachers’ fault.”

“How about we home-school?”

“What are you going to teach them? Auto-mechanics and cocktail mixing?”

“Ouch. You could give them advanced classes in Brooding and Moping.”

“Ha ha. And don’t you dare send them to private school where they don’t learn a fucking thing about social skills.”

“You getting your ass kicked every day is a social skill now?”

“It trained me to put up with you, didn’t it?”

Tony opened his mouth to retaliate but Bruce was grinning so smugly, he just had to kiss him, tipping them both on the sofa until he’s laying on top of him.

“Let’s make a baby, Dr Banner,” he declared with a girlish sigh.

Bruce had to stop laughing before he could even attempt to kiss Tony again.


End file.
